In order to do Valentine’s Day better, I need to confess I’ve done Valentine’s horribly bitter before.
As American holidays go, there is no doubt in my mind that Valentine’s Day singularly evokes an erratic swing of the emotional pendulum ever known to mankind. It’s the most anticipated and simultaneously, most dreaded day of the year. The ever loving cupid sensationalized February 14.
I’ve always wondered ‘Can we do it better?’ Can we actually do love better and omit the bitter? It’s worth a try.
There is something about love, freedom and aloneness that brings on a world wind of triggers which brings out our ‘not so angelic sides’. We mull over what has personally gone ‘so called’ right or wrong in our past relationships (not that VDay is all about romantic relationships mind you) and how we either want more of that kind of love or less of that kind of love.
My life experience has given me a unique perspective on this national holiday of red candied hearts and gestures of happily ever after. And with that perspective comes a poignant full circle understanding about the true meaning of love: more for the better vs. the bitter. Let me share.
5 Tips on ‘How to Do Valentine’s Day Better vs. Bitter‘
Get out of your own way- There is nothing like our darned dysfunctional internal ‘love map’ that keeps circulating our biochemical neurons to convince us that love is only what we remember. Newsflash: It’s not. Science has proven over and over that love is motivated by our minds connection to our bodies. Love is so BIG it can happen every day, in every way of every second you are breathing. If you don’t believe me, take your two arms and hug yourself right now. So there. I salute your big love ‘aha’ moment. What? You expected more…get out of you own way!
Love is universal- Love comes into our life when we understand most of its forms and functions. Some new agers call it ‘Law of Attraction’. Some credos call it ‘Grace’. Some hippies in Boulder call it ‘Life’. But the point here is to understand that we are all born from the miracle of love and life, we are exposed to love and live wildly in that energy. We Return to Love, as Author Marianne Williamson so perfectly coined it.
Be Smart. Love is a world of re-engaged intention. It’s the workings of our higher mind and the permission for our deepest hearts desire to experience a world full of miracles. Yes, miracles. Our role on this ‘Love Train’ is to simply, brilliantly allow it into our life without a preconceived idea of how it will manifest going forward. It’s the ultimate ‘hands off the wheel’ experience. Believe me, every person who has experienced a miracle knows what I’m talking about here. We are the vessels to receive the miracle when it shows up. And it will show up. Be a smarty pants and accept it.
Know Your Rights- It’s within your power to either embrace love as something better or bitter. Believe me, when I found myself giving CPR to my husband after a hit-and-run driver left him dying in my arms, a young father of 2 daughters, on Valentine’s Day; I was within my right to be bitter about love from that point on. I decided differently. I decided to instead donate his real heart to someone on this day, so they would watch their kids grow up, even though my kids dad never would. And by doing this it transformed my whole expression of love into something bigger than me. You have a right to do this too.
Invite Others- We are all ONE if you haven’t heard yet. Of course, it’s hard to see and feel this when we are distracted in grocery lines and reality shows filled with media about ‘people we think we know’ and their lives that seem to be the epitome of love. The ‘illusion’ as I like to call it. At some point, we must find a way to be comfortable with our own love and aloneness, our own unique reason for BEING LOVE in order to connect with others without attachment. Love begins when we understand the power to be loving is very much connected with being alive. You are extraordinarily equipped for this aliveness. Because when we love without needing to be attached, we love unbounded simply for loves sake. No one is left out of this kind of big profound love and truth.
Did I mention I have a reason to be bitter about Valentine’s Day? Well yes, it is true. No one should have to say goodbye suddenly and shockingly to the person they love the most on a romantic Valentine’s date.
But sometimes when we say goodbye on a day dedicated to love, we say hello to finding the true meaning of love by realizing it’s right in front of us.
Carolyn Moor, MWC Founding Director
Join us by adding your loved one’s name to our MWC Valentine’s Day Tradition releasing Community Sky Lanterns on Feb. 14th in honor of my late husband Chad Moor and all this who are loved and missed.