A Widow’s Cry
- Despite what you might think, the tears that come to me are necessary.
- My tears are because I loved someone with all my heart and I can’t be with them, touch them, kiss them or hug them again. Not even once. Do you know how that feels?
- I cry because I loved. I cry because I lost. I cry because I can still feel….everything.
- I cry because this is so unfair and there’s nothing…nothing I can do to change it.
- These tears come in the shower, on my long run, in the car at the stoplight and parking lots, in public bathrooms, under my covers in bed, while cooking dinner and taking out the trash, when nothing goes right, in darkness and in daylight.
- They come for a reason and a season.
- Sometimes I cry because of the past memories, sometimes because I’m moving forward courageously, sometimes because I’m confused and lost, sometimes because I’m exhausted and over it and sometimes when I’m profoundly, positively happy.
- They are healing, inconvenient, embarrassing, breathtaking, uncontrollable, unyeilding and as mysteriously beautiful and sacred as love is to me.
- In fact, without love, these tears would have no meaning whatsoever.
- These brave tears wouldn’t percolate at all if I had not found the courage to give my whole-hearted self to another. To fully commit myself heart-to-heart infinitely.
- So, if you see me tear up or break down, find me a tissue, give me a hug, hold my hand, find a private place we can go and sit together until it passes. Hold that space with me. Your kindness genuinely helps this feel less awkward.
- Thank you ahead of time. Having a golden friend like you in a moment like this is the silver lining of every tear I shed.
- Some of my tears will come alone and in silence, but all of my tears come calling out for compassion, friendship and connection.
Let’s be willing and grateful for this authentic way to emotionally connect with each other and better understand the deeper meaning in all our tears. Let it rain until it releases our pain as we regain the hope and strength to face another moment in this storm after loss.
*Dedicated to every #widow who has cried from the core of her precious broken open heart
- Carolyn Moor
MWC Founder