Welcome to first Thursdays at MWC and Happy Autumn! It means we have a new themed topic and a new monthly video for you. Last month, it was self-knowledge and we learned more about ourselves in this widowhood journey and the power of six degrees of separation; when many widows collectively unite their resources and wisdom as a win-win for the whole community.
This month we are going to talk about ‘Class‘. Not the noun version of class…like Oprah’s Life Class or classes at universities or self-help seminars which we love too, but ‘Class‘ as a verb.
Class- /klas/ v. When members are marked by common attributes, similarity and common interest that differentiates from others by kind, type or quality. Synonyms: category, group, classification, rank, level
We will also talk about the informal adjective version of class- showing excellence, being gracious, elegant, smart, respectable, formidable and noble.
A widow is in her own unique class emotionally, mentally, spiritually and holistically.
A little history: The latin origin of the word class is classis. It was first created in order to classify military positioning, but in modern society around the early 1800′s sociologists, anthropologists, psychologists, and many others began to study the interplay of “class”, “status” and “group power” (remember that last one). It’s important to know that a guy named Max Weber believed that class position was determined by a person’s skills and education, rather than by their relationship to the means of production. “Class” was identified as a person’s economic position. “Status” was identified by prestige and social honor or popularity. “Power” was identified by a person’s ability to get their way despite the resistance of others. Somewhere along the line, many people lumped all three together into a “class” system and left it at that.
Why do I mention these historical points and factors that determine “class”? Because, as a community of widows with certain attitudes, thoughts and practices, we would positively benefit from creating a new “class consciousness” within our million circles of sisters in widowhood and womanhood. We take ourselves mentally and emotionally out of the “class” system of comparison and begin to see a better perspective of how to live classically, honorably and empowered.
Class consciousness is when a group of like-minded people (like us at MWC) make a decision to collectively choose to not only distinguish, but to also simultaneously create a subcultural-phenomena within modern society. It’s how every revolution starts and how real change ever picks up any momentum. #GirlPower
I’m sure you have experienced not being understood in our current society as a new widow…left out of social circles for whatever reason, not invited to couple events or simply just forgotten…..or maybe even “ranked”, “disassociated” or dare I say “snubbed” by others. Is it us? Is it them? Some of both?
Here is the October video where I talk more about this topic of “Class”. Member Password: MWC
From what I’ve witnessed, the outside world first sizes us up in a very unfair socio-economic category- we are either seen is two ways 1) Advantaged & Wealthy needed little help or 2) Disadvantaged & Economically Challenged needing tremendous help. Our class, status and power in society terms is immediately altered and often threatened the moment our life drastically changes without our permission. Number 1 or number 2 could be very true or very untrue, but what I rarely see is when a widow stays “neutral” or securely in the “middle”. But that is not the “class” I am talking about for October’s topic because that is not how WE define ourselves. That is the “class” that we traditionally find in news articles while spitting stats and thanks to the Kardashians, we’re able to witness the differences and divisiveness. We are the opposite, we are inclusive, each a part of the whole. Let’s not allow that “class” be what identifies us today in this club.
I’m talking about being here…today….in the Modern Widows Club. Living as a widow looking to live her best life.
People often ask me why I chose the word “modern” for this club. Well, you see, when you use the word “modern” it means that we’ll be questioning and possibly rejecting traditional attitudes, thoughts and practices as women who are in this widowed experience. “Widow” is what happened to us as women, not who we are. But, we won’t always feel like a widow….we will at some point identify ourselves more with the feelin gofbeing a woman again. The painter of your modern, feminine life. The “New Me” version (even if you don’t know what that is just yet). As a club, together, instead, we are choosing to awaken to a new era of individualism. It won’t necessarily be what society wants us to be, it will be who you want to be.
But how do we know what we want to be? By finding real role models, mentors, leaders and other widowed women (in person or online) that you look up to, admire, want to imitate and observe and find yourself saying “I want to be like THAT”. Seeing is believing and powerful. We are creating our own “class consciousness” every day where each and every woman is loved, valued, honored, uplifted, empowered, respected and given the opportunity to grow and make a difference in her own unique way. That’s who we are. That’s what you were attracted to and it is what you will become. You are a class act. Your unique life matters. If anything, we hope you become the classiest version of “you” you’ve ever imagined- in every sense of the word.
Facebook COO & ‘Lean In’ Author Sheryl Sandberg’s viral FB tribute encouraged us all to “Kick the sh*t out of Option B” because Option A is gone. She was reading our conscious minds! She’s one of us….even though Sheryl’s in a socio-economic class higher than few can imagine (reported $1.1B)…she’s aligned with all of us in “Class Consciousness”.
We are soul sisters. Let’s figure out this new “class consciousness” together, let’s make some new traditions and be dissident in a good way. Whether you wear stiletto’s, Birkenstocks or running shoes, let’s face it with a lot of grace and exquisiteness. Doing it solo is tough, but together, we have a real chance to create something enduring and legendary. Who is in?
Coming Soon: #OneMillionWidows Campaign. Still in the works But here is a peek. If you haven’t joined the MWC (yes, we have a real membership for widows - riiiight!) click here: Modern Widows Club Membership.
Much Sisterly Love,
Carolyn Moor
MWC Founding Director
501c3 Nonprofit Empowering Widows