A Widow’s Valentine
Despite what you may think, Valentine’s Day will not kill me.
It’s a day. I understand the the power of one day, as a number on the Western calendar, not as a chart to base my whole future upon.
As a widow, I know how love can literally take your breathe away; in both joy and devastation.
My concept of love in the world is powerful, expanded, deeper, vivid and everlasting.
I know what the word ‘forever’ means.
Sometimes when you lose someone you love completely, you fully comprehend and accept how deeply that love is embedded permanently within you, on a cellular level.
It doesn’t vanish because the physical body disappears, in fact, it quietly shifts and becomes ethereal and spiritual into the night.
That feeling where you can’t imagine a world without them…..we know that world. We live in that space.
That lyric ‘Ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no valley low enough, ain’t no river wide enough to keep me from getting to you’- we’ve traveled that mountaintop and valley of death and impossible river in this love.
We wake up and face that very complex uncertainty day to day.
And yet, we still choose life. We still choose love. We do the hard work at being love.
Love changes breathing patterns. It internally fevers the body.
Some days we inhale and some days we exhale. Somedays we are emotional and some days we are empowered.
Our eyes change too; we notice butterflies and bees, the wind, clouds shaped like hearts and the minute details of a single flower.
According to Lakota tradition, the bow is female and the arrow is male. Loss is like Cupid with that bow and arrow, piercing our hearts with both the fullness and emptiness that we know is the full circle of experiential love.
People come and go, live and die, but love always, always remains.
Our ancestors knew this, ancient cultures celebrate this full circle of a life well lived and a love well loved….because they knew the importance of presence and they never took love for granted.
Neither will I.
After loss, love becomes more simple than ever before. It simply exists. It flows all around me, within me and I am filled by its beauty.
I am living and breathing as a ‘beauty from ashes’ love story.
My Love has become purposeful, transformative, resilient and soulful.
My Love is a treasure and full of grace. Captivating and Timeless. It gives me a reason to live like never before. There is freedom and peace in this kind of love.
This is what I hope for you this Valentine’s Day. Thank you for allowing me to share my love with you today.
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With love today, Carolyn Moor
MWC Founder & Mentor